


Stunning

by cuubism



Series: tumblr prompts [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Magic Loss, various vaguely canonical scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuubism/pseuds/cuubism
Summary: (Almost) all the times Magnus and Alec hold hands.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: tumblr prompts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887421
Comments: 14
Kudos: 113





	Stunning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tomfoolery14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomfoolery14/gifts).



> prompt from @royaltybane on tumblr:
>
>> would you maybe write something about all the ways that malec hold hands?

Something transcendent happens when Alec takes Magnus’s hand.

Magnus’s magic pours into his veins, tugging on his energy, swirling around him, but it’s not just that. It’s Magnus himself, _touching him_ is transcendent. Alec kind of never wants to let go of his hand.

He has to though.

He’s about to when Magnus sways and falls into him, forehead coming to rest against Alec’s chest. Alec resists the urge to run a hand through his hair. It looks _so_ soft.

“You okay?”

Magnus nods. His hand is shaking a bit in Alec’s grasp. Alec tightens his hold on him.

He honestly expects Magnus to push him off once they’ve finished healing Luke. But he doesn’t. Just looks up at Alec with this sort of… wondering expression.

_Stunning_ , Alec thinks. He’s stunning, not that that thought can go anywhere. Not really.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus says.

And Alec thinks, but doesn’t say, _anytime._

*

Their first kiss is desperate. Their second kiss is interrupted. Their third kiss is quieter, soft and, Alec thinks, better for it.

The air on the balcony is chilly, and Magnus leans into him. He has one hand resting on the balcony wall, and Alec tentatively reaches out to rest his own hand over Magnus’s.

It feels strange, still, being allowed to have this, but Magnus’s hand is warm, and Alec thinks maybe everything will be alright.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Magnus’s gaze is fond with a hint of humor, he turns his hand over to take hold of Alec’s.

Alec looks at him. He’s beautiful. “Kiss me?”

It feels strange, still, to ask for it, but Magnus smiles. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He has to go up on his tiptoes for a moment before Alec gets the memo and leans down, and when their lips meet it’s warm and soft and _everything._

Alec pulls Magnus closer by his hand until Magnus is pressed up against him, and Magnus tangles a hand in his shirt, holding him close.

“I hope you don’t have anywhere to be tonight,” Magnus murmurs against his lips when they pull apart, and Alec smiles.

“Where else would I want to be?”

*

It’s been a long time since Alec’s felt so… disembodied. Disconnected from his own hands. He keeps staring at them, at the blood still crusted along his fingernails.

He doesn’t even see Magnus appear in front of him.

“Alexander?”

The pity in Magnus’s voice makes Alec shrink away. “Don’t. Please.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

There’s a long pause where they both sit in the quiet dark of the balcony. Magnus’s eyes are discerning, but Alec won’t meet his gaze.

“Can I see your hands?”

Alec almost turns him down, but Magnus looks _so_ hopeful. Reluctantly, he holds out his hands, willing them not to shake.

Magnus takes them. He doesn’t try to heal them, or clean them of blood, just holds them. His grip is strong. Comforting. Alec thinks he can only really feel his hands when Magnus is holding them in his own.

“It’s going to be okay,” Magnus says.

Alec doesn’t know if he believes that, if he’s ever believed that.

But maybe, with Magnus holding onto him, he can try.

Magnus tightens his grip.

“I’ve got you.” 

*

“Were you really afraid I was gonna go?”

Alec hadn’t meant his statement as any more than a joke, but the look on Magnus’s face gives him pause.

_“No,”_ Magnus says, but Alec knows better. Magnus _was_ afraid.

Alec doesn’t want him to be afraid, because the absolute last thing he wants is to go anywhere.

He holds out a hand across the sheets.

After a moment, Magnus takes it, interlacing their fingers. His rings are warm weights in Alec’s grasp. Alec squeezes Magnus’s hand, and vows, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus smiles a little, squeezing Alec’s hand in return. He’s so beautiful in the morning light, soft and languid and radiant. He makes Alec’s chest feel a little tight.

“You better not,” he says, expression lightening, “I still have plans for you.”

“How can you have _plans_?” Alec demands. “I’m the one who sprung this on _you_.”

“Bold of you to assume I haven’t been planning for weeks,” Magnus says with a smirk. “Besides, I’m a _very_ quick thinker, Alexander.”

“Oh, clearly.”

Magnus narrows his eyes. “You’re making fun of me.”

Alec can’t help his grin. “I would never.”

Magnus lifts their joined hands to his lips and kisses Alec’s knuckles. “You’ll regret teasing me soon enough.”

Alec cups Magnus’s jaw in one hand and leans in to kiss him, pushing him down to the bed. “Somehow, I don’t think so.”

*

Even after they hug, even after they kiss, even after he tells Magnus how much he loves him, Alec’s hands are still shaking. The sun is blinding on the steps of the Institute, and Alec can’t _breathe._

Magnus takes his hands in his own, squeezing them. He doesn’t seem to have any more words, either.

“Can—” Alec finally manages to say past the tightness in his throat— “Can we go home?”

Magnus nods and opens a portal, holding Alec’s hand as they step through.

Alec doesn’t let go of him once they’re in the living room. Instead he pulls him back in close, tangling their fingers.

Magnus lets himself be reeled all the way in and kisses Alec again, and it’s only that touch that gets Alec’s hands to finally stop their shaking.

“It’s okay, now,” Magnus says, “I’m here.”

“I know.” But Alec doesn’t know, not really, his heart hasn’t quite caught up yet. He releases Magnus’s hands to hold his face instead, holds him gently, so careful with this beloved man he’d come so close to losing. “I love you.”

Magnus lets out a shaky breath. “Stay the night?”

He doesn’t have to ask.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m never going anywhere.”

Now _Magnus’s_ hands are shaking, so Alec brings them to his lips and kisses them, one then the other. He’s afraid, Alec knows. For himself. For the Downworld. For Alec.

Alec would do anything to stop him having to be afraid.

*

If Alec has to listen one more inane Clave briefing about how _we need to keep the Downworld in line_ , he’s actually going to start breaking things.

“Darling?”

Alec closes his eyes, leaning back against the wall. As if it wasn’t already bad enough that _he_ had to be here to listen to this, _Magnus_ is here, too.

Magnus stops in front of him. Alec finally opens his eyes to look at him and finds him fiddling with his rings, looking uncertain.

“Sorry,” Alec says, “I didn’t mean to check out on you there.” He reaches out a hand, and Magnus takes it, starting to play with Alec’s fingers instead of his rings.

“I think you needed a bit of a break after all that,” Magnus says.

Alec shrugs. If anyone deserves a break, it’s _Magnus_ , but here he is regardless, exhaustion in every line of his body, but still standing.

“You wanna get out of here?”

Magnus stops his fidgeting and takes Alec’s hand in a firmer grip. “And go where?”

Alec shrugs again. He just wants to go wherever Magnus wants to go. Wherever he’ll feel most comfortable. “Home?”

It isn’t until Magnus is pulling him through a portal that Alec realizes this is first time he’s referred to the loft as _home._

*

Alec’s never seen Magnus’s hands so still. He isn’t even playing with his rings, just sort of staring at his fingers like he can will them to come to life.

Alec’s heart squeezes out several slow, painful beats, looking at him.

“Hey.”

Magnus looks up at him when he sits across from him at the table, but his gaze is unfocused, not really there. “Come to check on me again?”

“No.” Alec knows there hasn’t been a change. There won’t _be_ a change. “Just came to sit with you.”

Magnus laughs weakly. “While I waste away.”

Alec doesn’t know what to say to that. That it’s not true? Magnus won’t believe him anyway.

Instead he stands and comes around the table to Magnus’s chair, kneels beside him. Magnus looks up at him in surprise.

“Give me your hands.”

Magnus considers him, and Alec thinks that he must remember, vividly, that night on the balcony. But this wound goes even deeper than Alec’s.

Magnus gives him his hands.

Alec always feels blessed with he does that. Feels trusted. Magnus’s hands are—or were—his source of power, his source of expression. Giving them up makes him vulnerable.

And he gives them to Alec.

Alec twists his rings off, one by one, then leans down to kiss each finger, holding Magnus’s hands between his own when he’s finished.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says, determined to make it manifest as he says it.

He can tell Magnus doesn’t believe him.

*

“Magnus, please,” Alec begs, “please, wake up—”

Magnus doesn’t wake up. His hands are limp between Alec’s own, nails free of their usual polish. He looks fragile like that, unprotected.

Alec will personally shield him every day if Magnus will just wake up.

“Please—” he’s begging again, when Magnus shifts on the bed, his fingers flexing in Alec’s grasp.

He lets out a soft groan of pain, and Alec runs a hand through his hair. “Shh, you’re okay.”

“Alexander?”

Slowly, Magnus’s eyes open and he turns to look at Alec. His gaze is hazy, his complexion drained of warmth.

Alec caresses his cheek. “Hey. There you are. You’re alright.”

Magnus offers him a weak smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and Alec knows he’s not alright, he’s not alright at all.

But at least he keeps holding Alec’s hand. 

*

The ring gleams on Magnus’s finger in the low light of their bedroom, and Alec’s heart swells with joy to see it, to see its pair on his own hand.

They’re _married_ , and the proof of it is right there for all to see.

Magnus chuckles, all humor and warmth, when he catches Alec staring at him. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Alec reaches out to take his hand. “We’re _married_.”

Magnus grins. “Mmm, we are indeed.” He takes a step closer, sidling up into Alec’s space. “Why don’t you kiss me, then, Mr. Lightwood-Bane?”

Alec pulls him close and kisses him, humming into the warmth of Magnus’s mouth, holding tight to the warmth of his hands.

Magnus pulls away and rests his forehead against Alec’s, eyes falling shut.

“I never really thought I’d get here,” he admits.

Alec cradles his face in both hands. “You _are_ here,” he reminds him. “You’ll always be here.”

And Magnus smiles.

*

“Magnus, come _on!_ ”

Magnus is practically a dead weight behind him, but Alec drags him along anyway, too excited to stop.

“Normally, _I’m_ the one dragging _you_ places,” Magnus grumbles good-humoredly, letting Alec pull him up the hill. The frost-covered grass crunches under their boots.

“That’s ‘cuz usually you’re the one who knows where the places _are_. But now I have a place to show you, so hurry up.”

Just months ago, Alec had thought he’d never be able to show Magnus this. They’d both thought opening Idris’s borders to Downworlders was an impossible dream.

“What kind of treatment is this for one’s husband?” Magnus moans. “Being dragged hither and thither like a pet on a leash!”

Alec rolls his eyes, but he does stop, making Magnus crash into his back. He turns and scoops Magnus up into his arms, grinning at his affronted yelp.

“Come _on,_ we’re going to be late.”

As Alec continues up the hill, Magnus drapes a hand over the back of his neck, playing with his hair, and Alec wonders if maybe being carried wasn’t his plan all along.

“We could have portalled,” Magnus says.

“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t get…” they crest the top of the hill, emerging from the treeline, and Alec sets Magnus down “…this.”

A wide valley spreads out before them coated in fir trees retreating to the horizon, dark now in the moonless night. Beyond, even darker mountains. It’s beautiful, but that’s not why Alec’s brought them here.

Magnus’s breath catches. “Oh, Alec.”

The sky above is lit with flickering lights, rippling waves of green and blue and purple. Magnus gazes up at it, little flecks of color catching in his hair, in his unglamoured eyes, and laughs disbelievingly.

Alec grins. “Pretty good, right?”

“I’ve never seen Northern Lights this far south.”

“The angelic magic in the air amplifies them. But you can only really see them on certain nights, when it’s late enough in the season and there aren’t any clouds.”

Magnus reaches out to take his hand. “Like tonight.”

“Like tonight,” Alec agrees.

Magnus snaps his fingers and a few layers of blankets appear on the frozen ground beside them. He waggles his eyebrows at Alec. “Lie down with me, Alexander?”

Alec rolls his eyes, but lets Magnus pull him to the ground and cozy up by his side, magicking another blanket over them. He keeps their hands intertwined as he does it, pressed warm between their bodies.

Magnus looks over at him. His eyes are shining, and not just with the aurora. “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s stunning.”

Alec squeezes his hand. “Thanks for sharing it with me.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [tumblr](https://cuubism.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
